THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Take a minute and think about the relationships you have in your life. Think about how many people surround you who hold the same basic, funda- mental beliefs as you. Think about a family member who has taken a path or who made a decision that you just cannot reconcile or agree with. Think about a friend who announced to those closest to them something that goes against your core beliefs. I will not offer any examples of what these items can be. I am sure you can fill in the blanks with many different ideas, paths, beliefs, life choices, and so forth.
Now…what was your response?
Did the announcement, discussion on beliefs, action, decision, or even argument cause you to make a choice about your relationship and how you would approach them going forward? Did this keep you from loving them? How did your attitude change due to any one of these issues? Did you find yourself talking, calling, or responding to the family member or friend less often because of the disagreement?
It is a difficult situation. It is so much easier to avoid someone you disagree with even though you love them than it is to confront the situation, disagree- ment, or belief, and come to a place where you agree to disagree.
The question is, do you really ever stop loving that person? Is it possible to love someone you disagree with on a fundamental level?
My answer is this—it really depends on you. It is possible. It comes down to how you define “love” and how you decide to live your life in relationship with others.
Love is probably one of the most misunderstood, miscommunicated words in history. When you see someone overcome adversity and forgive others who have wronged them, you begin to understand that love is more than just a feeling.
As stated earlier, love is choice, an action, a behavior, a daily decision to be committed to another human being no matter the obstacle in that relationship. There are no criteria that have to be met for you to love someone.
“What? I don’t believe you! What about the difference between marriage and friendship? What about the difference between loving your child or loving your spouse?”
Let me explain. At the beginning of any relationship, whether it is a friendship with a colleague, a neighbor, the beginning of a marital relationship, or raising a child, you have a choice to make. That choice is to dedicate your time, talents, and a part of your life to spend for the benefit of another.